Just something Im doing on tumblr.

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Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Mon Jan 28, 2013 9:49 am

Im doing the 30 Day Self Harm Challenge and then Im going to probably do the 30 Day Eating Disorder Challenge. I can say a lot more on this site and not worry about people seeing it than I can on Tumblr, so Im going to post them here too. If you guys want to join, check back every day and put your post.

30 day self harm challenge
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
3. What is your motivation to recover?
4. Do you consider yourself “addicted”? why or why not?
5. What part of self harm do you dislike the most?
6. What about it do you enjoy?
7. list 10 activities that help you calm down.
8. What the most supportive thing anyone has said to you about self harm?
9. Have you ever taken pictures of your wounds? Discuss.
10. How do you feel about your scars?
11. Strangest place (school, park, etc) you’ve ever injured yourself?
12. Where do you keep your ‘tools’? (Your room, in a box, disposed of them?)
13. What is the biggest realization about self harm you’ve had?
14. Is there anyone you consider to be an inspiration in your recovery?
15. Do you visit any websites about self harm? If so, what are they?
16. What advice would you give to someone about self harm?
17. Do you know anyone else who injures themselves?
18. Write a letter to the future (recovered) you.
19. List 5 reasons that recovery is worth it.
20. What is the most vivid memory you have of self harm.
21. Have you tried to stop in the past? What are you doing differently this time?
22. Where do you feel the most calm?
23. What is your favorite inspirational quote?
24. What are some of your main triggers? Why?
25. Do you know any statistics about self harm?
26. What is something that makes you the most happy?
27. Discuss any and all progress you have made.
28. What short-term goals do you have?
29. Do you follow any self-harm blogs?
30. Post your favorite picture of yourself and write a positive message to look back on.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

30 Day Self Harm Challenge: Day One.
How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
I’ve been self harming for three years now. The reason why I started wasn’t because of school, friends, being bullied, family problems or anything. I started self harming when I was in an abusive relationship that lasted for over two years. I was abused almost every day when I was with this guy. he told me every day I was worthless, I deserved it, and that I could never leave him and if I did he would find me and do worse things to me than he had ever done before. Since then I’ve wanted to die, I’ve tried to kill myself, and I’ve been cutting, scratching, and burning. It took me two years to get up the confidence to finally leave and find someone who really does care for me.
Thomas has been there for me ever since. He knows what has happened to me and he accepts it. He doesn’t look at me differently. He has helped me so much. I told him that I wanted to stop but I couldn’t do it alone. He promised to be with me every step of the way and he has. He makes sure Im okay, he is always there if I need someone to talk to, and he wants me to get better. He knows I’m trying and right now, thats all i can do…

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<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:20 am

Day One

I've been on and off for a few years now. It started at the beginning of seventh grade, so I guess two and a half years or so ago. I can't remember if there was a particular thing that made me start, but I do know that before I started I had been thinking about it for a while. I had felt worthless and wanted to kill myself for a whole and I finally decided that cutting myself would be a better alternative to killing myself. I hate myself for starting. I relapse all the time.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:25 am

Relapsing is the worst! You're all proud of yourself for stopping and you feel like you're starting to be normal, and happy again and that you're finally going to stop and then you look at the blade, you play with it in your fingers and you see the light glisten off of it and you go back. You take it to your skin again. The when you realize what you did you hate your self. You can't believe that you started again. You were doing so good and then you were stupid and picked up that damn blade again and pressed the silver wonder against your skin again, to feel it again. You can't believe you were so stupid to go and do it again. You get mad at yourself and keep cutting, keep slicing, and soon you can't stop and the road to receiving starts all over.

I should know..Ive relapsed almost twenty five times in the past three years..

I'm here for you Jenna, and I always will be.

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<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:29 am

I totally know that feeling. All I ever do is fucking relapse. I almost relapsed last night, but I (thankfully) managed to ignore the urges.

As I'm always here for you, Morgan.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:35 am

I've given all of my blades up, well sort of. My boyfriend self harms as well and we promised each other we would stop together. the last time we saw each other we brought all our blades. I gave mine to him and he gave his to mine and we got rid of them together.
Right now Im making recovery bracelets for me and him.

I struggle with
-Anxiety
-Anorexia
-Bulimia
-Self Harm
-Suicidal attempts and thoughts
-Depression
-Bipolar Disorder (Diagnosed, I don't think I have it though..)

Thomas struggles with
-Drug Abuse
-Anorexia
-Self Harm
-Suicidal attempts and thoughts
-Depression
-Mood disorders(Diagnosed but doesn't believe he has it)

I make things to help me..I write and sing and it all helps..and having someone there for you helps too.

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Stalk Me Babes! Well, just my Tumblr ;D
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<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Taylor on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:40 am

There is no way I'll keep up with this, but
Day One:
Spoiler:
I started in seventh grade. The summer previous I had lost every single close friend I'd ever had. It was horrible going to school, I eventually made up with a few friends as the year progressed, but it still wasn't a really fun experience. I don't know what really did it in for me then. I just know I had always been happy before that year... I stopped completely during 8th grade. I can't remember much from middle school actually. Last year I started back up again. There was a lot of reasons, but I don't know if I really want to get into them. We can just leave it to bullying and loneliness, and low self-esteem. That year I was diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. At the end of the year I stopped, because I had met someone who made me happy. Which lasted a few weeks until he made me miserable. I had been going strong until around the middle of summer, there was one night that was just an extreme low for me. I remember I had been so happy because I hadn't self harmed in like 5 months, and I just ruined it, and then I got this mindset that since I had relapsed I should just keep doing it. I haven't really stopped yet this year. The longest gaps been a few weeks. I just always feel pathetic. I feel pathetic when I quit because I know I'll just start up again and I feel pathetic when I harm myself because I'm not really solving anything.

Taylor
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:52 am

Aw Taylor ):
Im here for you, I always will be. Promise.

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Stalk Me Babes! Well, just my Tumblr ;D
My Tumblr
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<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Taylor on Mon Jan 28, 2013 10:55 am

Thank you <3
And I'm here for both of you. I think you guys have my number? (If not message me for it) and seriously text/message me anytime you need to.

Taylor
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:45 am

30 Day Self Harm Challenge: Day Two

-What part of your body is most affected by it?

I'd have to say that my thighs are most affected by my self harm. I rarely cut my arms because I sleep in tank tops and wouldn't want my parents to see the cuts. I'm always wearing jeans and then in the summer all of my shorts cover where the cuts are. Its easy to hide, well until i wear a bathing suit...

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Stalk Me Babes! Well, just my Tumblr ;D
My Tumblr
My Secondary Tumblr

<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


Morgan
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:26 am

Day Two.

I change locations every time I relapse, but the area that I cut the most are my thighs. I can cover them fairly easily, so it all works out.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Tue Jan 29, 2013 5:35 am

I love you Jenna. <3

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Stalk Me Babes! Well, just my Tumblr ;D
My Tumblr
My Secondary Tumblr

<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


Morgan
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Taylor on Tue Jan 29, 2013 7:11 am

Day two;
Spoiler:
My thighs are definitely damaged the most. I never wear low cut shorts, mostly because I'm insecure about my thighs anyways without the scars. But lately my fingers have been taking a toll, because before I started cutting again this year, I had started ripping the skin off by my nails. And it isn't entirely something I need to hide because most people link that to a nervous habit. I think people are oblivious to other forms of self harm.

Taylor
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Wed Jan 30, 2013 8:01 am

Day Three.

My motivation to get better is my Drill team. They don't mnow about my self harm and I don't want them to find out. I don't want them to think of me any differently. Instant to stop so that I don't have to let them down if they see them.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Morgan on Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:18 am

30 Day Self Harm Challenge Day 3:

What is your motivation to recover?

My motivation to recover is my boyfriend Thomas. Yeah yeah, dumb reason right? Other than Thomas my motivation to recover is my three year old nephew Hayden. The last time I saw him I had some self inflicted cuts on my wrists. Me and him where playing around and then he saw them, held my hand, looked at the cuts then at me before he leaned down and kissed them softly. He turned his bright blue eyes up to me, smiled and giggled "Morgan's boo-boos better!" He is my rock even though he is only three. I want him to see the world isn't horrible. I want to show him that I am strong. I want him to see that no matter how hard life may be you can still over come it all. I want to be better for him.

______________________________________
Stalk Me Babes! Well, just my Tumblr ;D
My Tumblr
My Secondary Tumblr

<3 Important Dates In My Relationship <3

  • OCHS JV Football Game Western VS Orange 34-20 Sept. 25th, 2013
  • OCHS 2013 Homecoming Dance Sept. 28th, 2013 (Trevon asked me out!)
  • OCHS Varsity Homecoming Football Game Orange VS Fluvanna 49-25 October 4th, 2013
  • OCHS JV Football Game Orange VS Louisa 20-42 October 23rd, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Louisa 28-42 October 25th, 2013
  • OCHS Varsity Football Game Orange VS Monticello 25-42 November 1st, 2013 


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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:14 am

Day 4.

I consider myself addicted. Every time I relapse I remember the free feeling so I keep going until I've completely ruined whatever part of my body that I was attacking that time. I crave it a lot, foo. So.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  WalrusFaces (Layla) on Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:13 pm

Hey guys, I guess I should open up too since the rest of you are.

Day One:
I started towards the middle of seventh grade. I had always thought terribly of myself. Id just never had the source to do anything. I was insecure, afraid, uncomfortable. I hated everything about myself. My life at home didn't do much for my mental stability. No one ever stuck around for long. And when they did it was never for the right reasons. I felt as if I wasn't worth anything to anyone. Its been 6 months since the last time I cut. Ive thought about it. Almost relapsed a couple times but I stopped myself. Not without the support of friends though. I doubt they even know how many times theyve interrupted me in some way before I could. My therapist says to take it like AA. Dont think about never cutting again. Just not today. It kinda works. But its hard to think youre a good person or worth anything when no one sticks around.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Sat Feb 02, 2013 10:40 pm

Got behind. Oops.

Day Five.

The thing I hate the most about selfharm is how I feel like I have to keep doing it. To prove something to myself.

Day Six.

I like most the empowering feeling I get when I do it.

Day Seven.

1. Listen to music
2. Read
3. Lay down in the dark
4. Do homework
5. Eat
6. Talk to my best friend
7. Take a shower

That's all I have.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  WalrusFaces (Layla) on Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:35 pm

Day Two:

Alot of its on my upper thighs and the underside of my arm. I almost always wear hoodies and pants.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Taylor on Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:59 am

I got really far behind. Jeez.

Day Three;
Spoiler:
I honestly don't really have a huge motivation to recover. I don't have a person in my life that cares about me and wants me to stop, or anything like that.

Day Four;
Spoiler:
I don't know if I'd really say I'm addicted. I've stopped a lot before, honestly when I stop it's because for a period of time I'm happy. I don't want to stop if I'm not happy. So I pretty much stop when I want to I guess? I don't really like the word addiction.

Day Five;
Spoiler:
I dislike that after I self-harm I feel shitty about myself for doing it. Like I had no self-control (but I think I just force myself to think that because I don't want to believe that I actually want to harm myself, but I do).

Day Six;
Spoiler:
I'm using lyrics for this day. Bite me.
From the song Bad Habit by The Dresdon Dolls
"Happiness is just a gash away
When I open a familiar scar
Pain goes shooting like a star
Comfort hasn't failed to follow so far
And you might say it's self-indulgent
You might say its self-destructive
But, you see, it's more productive
Than if I were to be healthy
And pens and penknives take the blame
Crane my neck and scratch my name
But the ugly marks are worth the momentary gain
When I jab a sharpened object in
Choirs of angels seem to sing
Hymns of hate in memorandum"

Day Seven;
Spoiler:
1 Listening To Music
2 Playing Ukulele (only when in tuned, otherwise I am 10x more pissed off)
3 Writing/venting
4 Reading
5 Talking to someone else (but this never happens because I have no friends ha)

Honestly that's all I have and most of those don't calm me down all the time anyways.

Taylor
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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  WalrusFaces (Layla) on Mon Feb 04, 2013 2:19 am

Day Three

My motivation is my friends. The ones like Sauske, Ethan, Kenny. All of them are so wonderful. I dont want them to think any less of me or look at me like im psychotic. Another motivation would be Tanner. Hes such an honest and sweet person. He knows I used to be cut dependent. He keeps me so happy that sometimes I almost forget the feeling. Almost.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Mon Feb 04, 2013 11:30 am

Day Eight.

I don't honestly know. Most people just go,"Please stop," when they find out. That's why I try to not let anyone find out because I don't like telling them I will. Whatever.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Taylor on Mon Feb 04, 2013 11:07 pm

Day Eight;
Spoiler:
Barely any of my friends know. Honestly I don't really know who DOES know, but no one's said anything to me about it. No one's ever really said anything comforting to me.

Day Nine;
Spoiler:
I've never taken pictures of my wounds. Goddamn I HATE when people do that. Especially when they post it all over the internet. Why would you do that!? I honestly don't get it. It's a huge trigger to see that too. I really don't like looking at my scars and I wold definitely not want them photographed.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  WalrusFaces (Layla) on Tue Feb 05, 2013 8:08 am

Day four:

I consider myself a recovering addict. I used to be extremely addicted to it. But Its been almost 5 months since the last time I did. I still get the urge to cut sometimes though. Its a lot harder to resist when im by myself. I cant really trust myself to be left alone with my thoughts because they always lead to that.

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  Jenna on Tue Feb 05, 2013 9:58 am

Day Nine.

I have. I did it to show myself how bad I fucked up myself. I've long since deleted the pictures of them, but yea

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Re: Just something Im doing on tumblr.

Post  WalrusFaces (Layla) on Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:46 pm

Day Five:
The after affect it has. Like after youve done it and suddenly it hits you. You just gave in. Some people think that it makes you strong. Those people are stupid. Others think it makes you weak. Also stupid. It just makes you sadder and even more depressed than before. And I hate that feeling.

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